“My wife says she regrets marrying me,” said the man completely and utterly confused about his relationship. There is little doubt that hearing your wife tell you that she wishes she hadn’t married you stings. It makes you question the time you two have spent together since your wedding, you feel unsure about what’s on your horizon and you may even wonder if you ever really knew the woman you married. You’re justified in feeling all of this and much more. Your world, as you knew it, has been turned upside down. You may feel a temptation to hide and to wish it all away, but that won’t accomplish anything. Now is the time to face what’s not working in your marriage and forge ahead with a plan to fix it before your wife decides that a divorce is really what she wants and needs.
Gain Insight Into What is Causing Her to Have Regrets
You can’t really move forward towards healing your connection with your wife until you understand fully what is causing her to have feelings of regret. In some instances, it’s going to be painfully obvious as is the case when there is infidelity in the marriage or you two are facing a major conflict with no resolution in plain sight. In these types of situations, it’s important to discuss honestly where the marriage stands and if there’s any chance you two can get over the issues that brought you to this place. For instance, when a marriage is rocked by adultery it’s common for the hurt partner to feel regret. They wonder endlessly what they might have done differently and they are bound to imagine their life without their adulterous partner.
You two must sit down together and hammer out what has happened, and what you both envision the future to be. If you are intent on saving the relationship, compromise has to be part of the equation for both of you.
If your wife’s regret stems from her general unhappiness with the marriage, that requires a different approach on your part. Some women simply reach a point within their relationship in which they feel they aren’t getting the attention, adoration and recognition they deserve from their spouse.
Become a More Sympathetic and Understanding Partner
It’s very easy to fall off the track of being a good spouse when life throws many curve balls in your direction. Your wife may be guilty of the same and you may not even realize that you don’t feel as close or as emotionally connected to her as you once did. Many of us will subconsciously push our spouse to the back of our priority list. We do this because we feel secure in the relationship but over time when the bond isn’t being nourished, things can go astray as is the case in your marriage now.
You don’t have to undergo a complete overhaul of who you are as a husband. You just need to put in more effort to be more emotionally available and attentive to the needs of your wife. This has to come from a place of genuine desire. You shouldn’t do this if you resent your wife and feel that you’re having to give more than she’s willing to.
Marriage is truly a relationship that centers on compromise and sometimes that means things aren’t as balanced as they could be. If you take the initiative and become the more giving and loving partner, you will likely notice a strong and desirable change in your wife as well. Sometimes it’s all about having the emotional courage to take that first step.
Make Your Wife Your Absolute Number One Priority
There’s undeniable satisfaction that comes with proving someone else wrong. It’s simply part of our human nature to prove that we are right and whoever doubted us or our abilities is wrong. That’s exactly what you need to do, right now, within your own marriage.
Even though your wife has expressed to you that she has real regrets about her decision to marry you, prove to her that she’s wrong for feeling that way. You can do that by switching your priorities so that she always falls at the top of the list.
Make your wife the most important person in your life, beginning today. If you have to rearrange your work schedule to spend more time with your wife, do it. If you need to arrange a caregiver to tend to your children one night a week so you can spoil your wife with a dinner you cooked, arrange that now. Show your wife that you’re an even better husband than she thought you were when you two first married.
Actions are going to help her see that you mean it when you say you love and cherish her so get to work proving that point. If you can become the husband that she knows she can rely on in every way, those regrets she’s experiencing now will soon be nothing but distant and unimportant memories.
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